NFL Films and Rankin/Bass Present

Like most kids, growing up, I was obsessed with Christmas movies around the holidays. And while Home Alone, A Christmas Story, and Die Hard (Yeah, it’s technically a Christmas movie… Ralphie had a gun too) were all favourites, nothing quite felt the same as the classic animated TV specials: Rudolph, Frosty, Santa Claus is Coming to Town, and The Grinch. However unlike most kids, I also possessed an unhealthy love of football, which meant sometimes the two got crossed. So while you curl up on your couch this Christmas Eve watching one of these aforementioned films and possibly not the batch of Week 16 NFL action you may have had your heart set on; don’t fret! They may just have more in common than you think…

Greg Jennings – Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer

Now if Aaron Rodgers is Santa, and he could be, I mean his stats this season seem like they might be fictional; then the team of reindeer carrying him to the playoffs and a possible undefeated season are his backs and receivers (Actually 14 Packers have an offensive touchdown this season; there’s only nine reindeer!). But if Santa Rodgers had to single out one of these men, it would be Greg Jennings, because quite simply Jennings can put the team on his back. It’s a lot like Rudolph. Sure, you need the other eight deer, but who’s out in front leading the way with his bright red nose? Sure as hell isn’t Dancer.

Tim Tebow – The Winter Warlock

Much like the Winter Warlock, or Winter as he’s come to be known, Tim Tebow is not quite what he appears to be. Yes, he is a quarterback by position, but as Brian Urlacher so eloquently put this Sunday, he’s also “a good running back”. Still, in the clutch when it matters, Tebow is magical, and frankly, all he does is win, even if he doesn’t have his best stuff. The Winter Warlock himself was out of magic by the end of the movie, but he was still the one with the magic corn feed that made the reindeer fly. You thought that loser Dancer learned all by himself? Wrong.

Willis McGahee – Max

But with all that said who’s really doing the heavy lifting for the Broncos? Willis McGahee has been a stud for Denver this season, with 920 yards on the ground, and at 30 years of age, five games of over 20 carries. But just like Max does he get the credit for carrying the sleigh all the way up the side of Mount Crumpit? Nope. It’s the Grinch who steals all the accolades in the 4^th quarter by saving the day. In fact, if Tebow didn’t have so many reasons to love December 25^th, he might have been that green, former Christmas stealing, cave dweller…

Peyton Manning – The Grinch

Of course then Peyton Manning couldn’t be the Grinch as well. Manning hasn’t taken a snap this season, and for Colts, or just NFL fans in general, this is like Christmas being stolen. He’s taken all their talent; he’s taken all their competitiveness; and apparently he’s taken their ability to win a single game. However like this Seuss classic, it could all turn around at the end for the Colts. Not only will they get their star QB back, but they might just get their next star QB in Andrew Luck. Oh, and in fairness to Peyton, he may be the Grinch, but it is most definitely Indianapolis and not him that nauseates me and has termites in its smile.

Albert Haynesworth – The Bumble

Now in my opinion this is a pretty obvious comparison. Both are huge; both are angry; and both bounce. Albert Haynesworth just happens to do it from team to team. The big man has packed his bags a lot these past few years, seemingly ever since stepping on Cowboys’ offensive lineman Andre Gurode’s face. He left Tennessee, signed a big deal in Washington that never worked out (mirroring the man himself), and went to New England to begin this season before currently ending up in Tampa Bay. For his sake he’s just lucky the North Pole doesn’t have an NFL franchise. And has anyone just tried sending him to a dentist?

Ryan Fitzpatrick – Frosty the Snowman

I’ll start with the lyric “Frosty the Snowman knew the sun was hot that day, So he said lets run, And we’ll have some fun, Now before I melt away.” Frosty was a smart snowman, it might have just been the hat, but still. He knew the magical adventure that he and Karen and the other children were on just wasn’t going to last. If only the Buffalo Bills were so smart. After a 5-2 start the Bills gave journeyman quarterback Ryan Fitzpatrick a $59 million contract with $24 million in guarantees. Since then the team has lost six in a row as Fitzpatrick’s amazing first half stats have melted away. Buffalo fans just better pray that he’s made of Christmas snow.